Kimberly's story

Kimberley: “When my fiancé and I met, we knew fairly quickly that we wanted to start a family together. He’s a bit older than me and I felt ready to become a mother too. We have a lovely home, good jobs and we’re getting married. I read up on how to increase your chances of getting pregnant, and we tried everything from putting your legs up after sex to exercising more and not drinking alcohol. But after a year of trying at home, I still wasn’t pregnant. My GP gave me a referral almost straight away. I had already done some research on Zorgkaart, and the reviews of Nij Clinics in Gorinchem really appealed to me. 

You’re given what you can handle

We’re now 5 IUI attempts further on, but sadly not yet expecting. Because of the quality and volume of my partner’s sperm, we’ve just started our first ICSI round. We’re in the middle of the hormone stimulation process and the egg retrieval will take place in about 2 weeks.

Fortunately, I have few side effects from the hormones, just a bit of a headache. Mentally I’m doing well, even though it’s a difficult time for me and my family. My mother, in her early sixties, was recently diagnosed with dementia. I’m an only child and live about an hour away from my parents. It’s very bittersweet to be so intensely involved with ‘old’ and ‘new’ life at the same time. I hold on to the thought that life finds its way and that you’re given what you can handle.

Work as a distraction

I have a busy job, but I don’t feel any need to take a step back. If anything, work keeps me going. My manager keeps a close eye on this and sometimes sends me home when she thinks it would be good for me to rest. I travel a lot for work, and recently I found myself in an airport toilet giving myself my hormone injections. That’s when I thought: what on earth am I doing?

I’m very open about our wish to have a child and the journey we’re on. Precisely because I want people to realise that questions like ‘When are the kids coming?’ or ‘Do you have children?’ can be confronting and painful.

A clear end goal

I don’t give up easily and I have a clear end goal in mind. Bringing a child into the world won’t be easy. Raising a child isn’t either. Then, too, I’ll sometimes feel tired and frustrated. Things will always happen in life that challenge you to keep going and pick yourself up again. I try to keep doing things I enjoy. I love dancing and enjoy going for long walks in nature. And I have a fiancé who takes good care of me.

But of course there are times when I can’t manage it, or that frightening feeling comes over me: what if it never works? Because that’s a real possibility. As a couple, we know our limits here: we don’t want to use donor sperm or donor eggs, or switch to adoption. That means ICSI is our best chance of becoming parents. We have every confidence that it will work: we’re in this together!