Noa's story - solo mother by choice

Noa: “Around the age of 33, something started to niggle. Not because I felt I was missing something, but because I wanted something so badly: to become a mother. While the people around me were settling down or having children with their partners, I was left with a longing that kept coming to the fore. I didn’t find love, but my wish to have a child remained as strong as ever. 

After an evening full of doubts and tears, I told my mother and sister. Their reaction was exactly what I needed: “If this is what you want, we’re behind you one hundred per cent.” That gave me the courage to contact Nij Clinics.

Together with my mother, I attended an information evening at Nij Clinics | Elsendorp. The evening focused on treatment options using donor sperm and was organised especially for single women like me and for lesbian couples. I felt welcome straight away. No judgement, no ifs and buts – just the feeling of being welcomed with open arms to fulfil my wish to have a child. 

From the very first consultation, I felt taken seriously. They listened to my story, without judgement or a one-size-fits-all route. Together we chose a treatment with donor insemination. My contact with the clinic was warm, clear and personal – I didn’t feel like a number, but like a woman with a real wish.

Support 

The treatment may sound simple, but the process is intense and emotional. Choosing a donor, counselling, hormones, scans, the waiting and the uncertainty after every attempt... I cried, I laughed, I doubted – but I always felt supported by the people around me. My mother was by my side time and again for scans, treatment planning consultations and donor insemination (KID) treatments. My sister sent me an encouraging message every morning. And the staff at Nij Clinics gave me genuine hope and confidence.

When the pregnancy test was finally positive after 7 KID treatments, I called my sister in tears to tell her she was finally going to be an aunt. I hardly dared to believe it yet, but when I saw the little heart beating on the scan at 8 weeks, my happiness knew no bounds. My daughter was born at 39 weeks and I can’t imagine a single day without her: a strong-willed, sweet baby who makes my world complete.

Chasing dreams

I’m doing it alone, yes. But I rarely feel alone. My mother looks after her one day a week and Kris is growing up surrounded by cousins. Going out and about with my friends and their little ones: a dream that has come true. 

I look back on this journey with pride and gratitude. Because I didn’t wait for circumstances that might never have been perfect – I made a choice. For myself. And for her.”